


Four Things Doumeki Never Told Watanuki (And One He Did)

by letterspacing



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-23
Updated: 2010-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-13 23:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letterspacing/pseuds/letterspacing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doumeki may be one part demon, but all of Shizuka means silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Things Doumeki Never Told Watanuki (And One He Did)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for mushroom18, who requested Doumeki/Watanuki in a prompt meme back in 2008.

I. Watanuki once mentions that names are powerful - something he picked up from Yuuko, no doubt. You contemplate this. There is _oni_ in your name: a demon in some traditions, a protector in others. Your grandfather was an exorcist; the power to ward evil runs in your bloodline. To Watanuki, you are a monster in more ways than one. He complains a lot about your bottomless stomach and impossible requests while gesticulating madly.

There's this time that Watanuki almost hates you for real. Names have power, and Watanuki draws out the most from yours - both the best and the worst of the _oni_ in _Doumeki_. You save him: this is a fact. But in exchange, you take away something - someone - important from him, and that decision is propelled by selfishness: you just didn't want him to disappear. But you don't tell him that, of course you don't. _Doumeki_ may be one part demon, but all of _Shizuka_ means silence.

 

II. You never say sorry because you know you won't mean it. He forgives you anyway, so quickly and unclimactically that it takes you by surprise. Things fall back into place; Kunogi hardly even notices the storm that had passed between you, and Watanuki never mentions the incident again, but you don't forget. You remember all too clearly the look he had given you before he blacked out, his voice when he asked you _why_ , so cracked and broken that you'd inwardly winced yourself. It haunts you to this very day, but given the chance to do it over, you'd still make the same choice.

 

III. You never tell him about your nightmares, the ones where he dives headfirst into danger and you're too far or late or helpless to do anything - the ones where he dies. You've heard of premonitary dreams, and you always wake up afraid you'd just dreamt one.

It almost happens once, one of your nightmares, and you end up making your first wish.

 

IV. Your blood is payment. Every wound, every scar, every broken bone happens in place of his. You'll never admit it, but a part of you has come to believe that whatever protection your ancestors have passed on to you will be passed on to him if you bleed enough. But how much is enough until the transaction is complete? Your blood already runs through his veins from the time he fell off the second floor, but it's not enough to drown the spiritual magnet innate in him, and all you can do is keep him from bleeding it all out.

 

V. People tell you that you're not expressive enough. "Doumeki-kun should smile," say the girls in your glass. Watanuki is with you when you receive one such comment, and when they're gone, he tells you, "Even your admirers think you're weird." Well, that's not _exactly_ what he says, but it was something to that effect, except with more flailing, twirling, and making fun of your face.

"Well," you reply, biting into one of his cream-filled pastries. "You can smile for both of us." And Watanuki blinks, clearly not understanding, one eye gold behind his glasses.


End file.
